Connecting With Children During and After a Divorce

Connecting With Children During and After a Divorce

Family Law and Divorce

Divorce is not just difficult for the spouses that are actually splitting. The end of a marriage can be incredibly difficult for children, particularly children that are still young enough to be living with their parents. As their family is dissolving children may feel that they are being forgotten, overlooked, or are not as loved as they once were.During this stressful time it is essential that you carefully consider the feelings of your children so that you can help them through the transition from a two-parent home to a divided family. Depending on the particulars of the divorce your children may need additional help to get through the transition, such as from a child psychologist. Experienced family law attorneys can help by efficiently guiding the parents through the process, and minimizing disagreements. Just by putting effort into connecting with them, however, you can make a major difference in how your children get through the difficulty of a divorce.Some tips for continuing to connect with your children during and after a divorce include:Send Love NotesIf your children are living with you put a note into their lunch box, backpack, notebook, or purse every couple of days. It doesn’t need to be long or complicated, just a short note to let them know that you are thinking about them. If they are not living with you send them an email, text message, or instant message.Small TalkYou children will want to talk about things other than the divorce just as much as you do. A lot of the time awkward silence is even worse than having to constantly talk about the split, so take advantage of the moments that show themselves. Listen to what they have to say, and do not take these times to lecture, scold, or judge what they have to tell you.Establish or Continue BedtimeBedtime is a key time during the day. It is a chance to spend time together bonding over books, conversation, even a special movie. Establish a routine that will make your child feel comfortable and routine and continue it.Take Them on DatesIf you have multiple children it can make it more difficult to feel as though you are addressing each of their needs during a divorce. Help each to feel special, loved, and acknowledged by planning special “dates” with each of them. Whether it is just a quick lunch or a full day of fun events, spending time just with one child gives him a special feeling of love and security.

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